


i don't know you, not really

by LavenderMandarin



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Identity Reveal, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, also there's like a dash of fluff at the end, basically this was inspired by a post i saw on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28018752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderMandarin/pseuds/LavenderMandarin
Summary: Set in season 3.Lena doesn't know Kara is Supergirl and they recently had the argument about kryptonite. Supergirl comes to Lena's balcony one evening, but she doesn't bring up the kryptonite.orSupergirl reveals that she's Kara, but she reveals her name last
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 32
Kudos: 280





	i don't know you, not really

**Author's Note:**

> so this was inspired by two posts that i saw on tumblr. i kinda of mashed the idea from the first one with the headcanon from the second:
> 
> this is the idea: https://mikereads.tumblr.com/post/636548426819076096/randomthingsthatilike123-there-is-a-very-specific
> 
> and this is the headcanon about el mayarah (ehl maiiahrah) and what it means: https://notamyope.tumblr.com/post/177747593564/headcanon-about-kyrptoniankyptonese-its-a-very

It takes a full week for Supergirl to come talk to Lena.

In that time, Lena has had time. Time to think about what she's said, about what Supergirl might have thought, about what she can say now.

She sees Supergirl coming, but makes no move to leave. Instead, she leans even further forward on the ledge of the balcony, arms folded over one another as she stares vaguely in the distance at the swathes of orange and red painting the sky.

Supergirl lands politely, boots tap-tapping against the concrete of the balcony as she gracefully comes to a halt, no abrupt jolts or sudden movements.

Lena doesn't say anything, leaving space for the hero to think, for her to start talking.

When Supergirl finally speaks, it's not what Lena expects at all.

"On Krypton, the sun was red. The sky was always red."

Her tone isn't bitter or accusatory and Lena doesn't get the kryptonite argument she expects at all. Instead, the superhero sounds wistful, sad, nostalgic; remembering a time only she knows.

"The sun was so big. That was our god, Rao. He was the light that gave us everything we had. He watched over us and protected us. He kept us warm, gave us light, helped us grow."

Supergirl closes her eyes, tilting her head up, and Lena doesn't know what to do. She stands back from the ledge of the balcony with her arms crossed and listens as Supergirl continues.

"The sky was always red." Supergirl's hand makes a sweeping motion across the sky, her eyes still closed, and Lena watches in awe as the worry lines melt away. As she watches Supergirl's face, she realizes just how young the superhero is, remembers she isn't far off from her own age. 

Supergirl's chest rises and falls with steady breaths and Lena feels herself breathing in tandem, slowing her inhalations to match the hero's.

Supergirl's eyes open again and Lena has a brief moment to see the piercing blue eyes, framed by a young face without any worry, without any concern. And then, just like that, the moment passes and the tension sinks back onto the hero's shoulders, worry and stress lines creasing her forehead again.

The hero smiles weakly at Lena and Lena politely disregards the shine in her eyes, crossing her arms even tighter to keep herself from reaching out and brushing away the tears, smoothing away the lines, anything to take away the pain she sees in Supergirl's eyes.

She sees the way the hero perks up, her mind suddenly halfway across the city before she aims an apologetic look at Lena.

Lena smiles back, just a small quirk of her lips, but it's enough. She can see the way the hero relaxes, her shoulders sagging before she smiles back, bright this time, and flies off.

Lena doesn't bother going to turn on her television.

Instead, she stays on her balcony until the last of the sun sinks below the horizon, until the reds fade away into purples and then blues, imagining what a sunset on Krypton would've looked like.

The dark blues are fading to black by the time she makes it back to her penthouse on the other side of the city.

As she steps through the front gate, she almost thinks she can hear the familiar swishing of a cape.

She doesn't look up though. She strides up the driveway and heads in through the door.

When she looks back outside through her window, there's no indication that anyone has been there.

* * *

Two days later, Lena watches Supergirl get punched across the length of her office flatscreen in the middle of the day.

She watches the DEO vans roll up to the alien she had been fighting and pin it down.

Supergirl doesn't move.

She sees Agent Danvers—Alex—rush towards the fallen hero and she shudders at the memory of Supergirl lying lifeless in a crater, covered in gray dust as Alex crawled over the broken concrete to get to her.

She decides to pay the DEO a visit.

She's 5 minutes away from the top secret organization when she gets a frantic call from Alex asking her for help.

It's kryptonite.

The next 7 hours are a blur as she makes it to the DEO and strides in, Alex waiting for her right by the door and leading her to Supergirl as fast as possible.

"She— she wasn't supposed to go in without us. She knew there was— she _knew_ and she— she went anyway. I—"

Alex chokes off her rambling and the rest of the walk is silent.

Lena walks over to the unmoving hero and sighs uneasily.

It takes her hours to figure out how to drain the kryptonite from the hero's bloodstream without completely bleeding her out, but she does it. She walks out, shoulders sagging, and sees the relief blossom across Alex's face.

She doesn't need to hear Alex say anything as she watches her rush into the operating room.

She walks away and collapses into one of the waiting room chairs, exhaling loudly and rubbing the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut as she sinks into the chair.

If she had listened closer, if she had been closer to the operating room, she would've heard Alex murmuring Kara's name, crying over her sister.

Instead, Lena falls asleep in the waiting room chair, curled uncomfortably into a ball.

When she wakes, Supergirl is still down, and she pushes away the disappointment she feels before calling her driver and asking him to meet her down the street.

The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon by the time she meets up with her driver.

The sky is perfectly red and as Lena stares out the window, she wonders if this is what Krypton looked like.

* * *

The next time Lena sees Supergirl is two days later.

Supergirl touches down just as carefully on the balcony, her boots making the same tap-tapping sound against the concrete before she folds her arms and places them on the ledge.

This time, it doesn't take Supergirl as long to start talking. Maybe it's the lack of privacy—it's the middle of the day and the sun is out—or maybe it's the need to fill the silence, Lena doesn't know, but she's grateful either way.

"Thank you, Lena."

The hero's voice is earnest and warm with exhausted affection. Lena can hear the quiver in her voice as she whispers Lena's name, the way it crests on the e and the way it turns into a breath as she finishes. She can see the tiredness, too, the way Supergirl's shoulders sink a little bit lower, the way her eye bags aren't quite hidden enough by makeup under the bright yellow sun.

It takes the superhero a little bit longer to continue after that. By the time she speaks again, it's no longer late afternoon and the sun is beginning to sink, passing the peak of its brightness and heat.

"The red sun on Krypton. It changed everything."

Supergirl closes her eyes and Lena watches as her head bows, resting against the fabric surrounding her folded forearms.

"My mother's eyes, they were blue. But not really. They weren't bright like mine, not on Krypton. They were... they were the most beautiful color I remember. They were blue, but there was a little something else, flecks of black and red. I can't— I can't even remember it clearly anymore."

The hero sighs, her head bowing even further, chin almost touching her chest.

"I miss her so much. She was— she was— she was one of the Judicators of the High Council. I was supposed to become part of the Science Guild. I was already part of it unofficially—the youngest person there—but then... but then..."

She lapses into silence and Lena feels her walls coming down as the hero in front of her splits herself open for Lena.

"The flowers on Krypton sang because of the red sun."

Lena startles at the sudden change in topic before furrowing her brows, confused.

Supergirl seems to take notice of her confusion and continues, beginning to explain.

"They didn't really _sing,_ but they tinkled, like little bells, when they brushed against each other. The notes were long enough that we called them Singing Bells, _khahzhores belahdiehd._ They were beautiful. They had white petals that branched out from a dark blue center, and they were fragile but they tinkled anyway. My mother loved them. She said the reminded her of me; she said I was fragile, but I smiled anyway. She said I laughed and I fought for what I believed in and that was what was going to help me make it."

The hero looks down then.

"I still don't know if she knew then."

Lena doesn't need to hear the specifics, she knows what the hero is talking about. Supergirl is talking about the eventual journey, the pre-planned space pod that was already set to reach Earth.

Lena speaks for the first time in weeks, since the hero had blown up about the kryptonite, since they had saved Sam.

"I think she would be proud of you."

The hopeful look on the superhero's face that blossoms into undeniable joy is more than worth it.

* * *

Supergirl lands on her balcony again, _tap-tap,_ the next evening before frowning momentarily.

"Oh, Rao. I just got here."

Lena could almost say that the hero is _whining,_ but she keeps it to herself as she bites her lip to keep her mouth from turning up into a smile.

Supergirl looks over her shoulder and gestures her hands about.

"Sorry, I... you know."

Lena nods and Supergirl flies away, grumbling to herself.

She comes back only 10 minutes later, smelling faintly of soot and smoke as she brushes the ash off of the blue fabric of her suit.

Lena dips her head, acknowledging the hero as she takes her place at the ledge again.

"What was Krypton like?"

Lena tilts her head to look at the hero curiously, any nerves override by her desire to know, to _understand._

The hero looks over at her and her hands catch in her cape, fidgeting with the edge nervously as she thinks of what to say.

"Well, um. Krypton was... Krypton was... I miss it." Supergirl sighs deeply, her shoulders rising and falling before she casts her eyes out over the horizon again.

"I can't really describe it because so much of it was about the feeling of it, but I'll try."

The hero looks back over at Lena, a smile soft on her face as her eyes glow in the fading sunlight and the corners of her eyes crinkle.

"Well, I lived in Argo City. Every morning I would wake up and I would look out my window and I would see the sunrise."

Lena watches as the hero relaxes again, staring out over the slowly reddening sky as she relives her memories.

"I remember the light would always hit the top of this one steeple and I always loved waking up early to make sure I would see it. The moment the sun hit the top of it, I knew that the new day was starting. It was beautiful to watch. The tip of the metal would glow a little bit and then it looked like it caught on fire, the way the sun lit it up red. It was so beautiful, and I never wanted to miss it because it was only for half a minute that it stayed before the sun moved on and the glow diminished."

Supergirl closes her eyes, chin tilted up towards the sky as she smiles.

"I would watch the sun light up the rest of the steeple before moving. The light would spread down the length of the metal and it was breathtaking to watch. Sometimes... sometimes I wake up exactly when I would've woken up on Krypton to see the steeple and I'll open my eyes and peer out the window and for a second I imagine seeing the steeple again before the yellow sun peeks over the horizon. And then I remember where I am."

Supergirl sighs again, her shoulders sagging forward as she leans heavier against the concrete ledge.

"Argo City was so beautiful... even when it was up in flames."

Supergirl opens her eyes, leaning even heavier against the concrete as she turns to look at Lena.

"Why do you think I'm always the first at a fire?"

Lena doesn't know how to answer, and as soon as the sky glows scarlet, Supergirl flies off.

Lena turns on the flatscreen in her office and watches Supergirl walk into a burning building minutes before the firefighters even make it onto the scene.

* * *

"There are so many things I don't remember," is the first thing Supergirl says when she stumbles onto Lena's balcony heavily, beaten bloody by some alien downtown.

Lena rushes forward to the fallen superhero and kneels down beside her worriedly.

"Supergirl, oh my god. Are you okay?"

Supergirl doesn't seem to hear her and continues talking.

"I don't remember my father's voice anymore. He... I don't even remember what he looked like anymore. Every time I try to remember, it's always too bright for me to see his face. It's like... it's like how happy I was makes it so much harder to remember now... because all I have now is... I'm just sad."

Lena stills at the hero's confession and her hands come up to cup the hero's face without even realizing.

"You'll be okay, Supergirl. You'll be okay. I promise you, Supergirl."

She hopes the superhero can tell what she really means, even through her delirium.

The hero smiles up at Lena for a moment before looking down at her torso in confusion and then frowning.

"Oh, Rao. I'm so sorry, Lena. I stained your balcony."

Supergirl seems so distraught and upset at the fact that she _stained Lena's balcony_ with her _blood_ and Lena is so choked up but she reassures the hero anyway.

"It's okay, Supergirl. It's okay. Don't worry. It's not your fault, Supergirl."

Supergirl looks up at her again, her distraught forgotten as she frowns slightly.

"Why are you calling me that?"

Lena looks at her in confusion.

"You're Supergirl. That's your name."

The superhero frowns even deeper, her forehead crinkling as she thinks even harder about it.

"That's not my name."

Lena doesn't have it in her to decipher what the hero means and so she grabs her very own DEO-issued phone from back when they were still fighting Reign and dials Alex.

"You're gonna be okay, Supergirl. You're gonna be okay."

Supergirl seems to forget her confusion and the soft smile is back as she looks up at Lena, her eyes glowing with happiness.

"Whatever you say, Lena."

* * *

Alex thanks her profusely when she arrives at L-Corp, only stopping momentarily to berate the woozy Super.

Lena simply smiles, waving at the superhero before addressing Alex.

"Don't worry about it, just makes sure she doesn't get herself into too much trouble."

Alex glances over at the hero again, who's waving at Lena from her perch on the back of the DEO van.

"Will do. Thank you again, Lena. We lost her location when her comms flew out of her ear. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

Lena nods again and smiles at the still-hazy superhero before looking at Alex again.

"Of course. I think you should, uh, get her something because she's looking a little bit hazy."

Alex looks over her shoulder at the hero, too, and quickly agrees, bidding Lena goodbye before leaving with the hero in the black van.

Lena sighs, relieved, and takes the elevator back up to her office, watching as the numbers glow as she rises up floor by floor.

She reaches her floor and steps out of the elevator as the doors slide apart, metal gears whirring smoothly in the background to move the heavy doors.

She's grateful that Supergirl is getting help, but all of a sudden, her office feels a lot emptier, a lot less welcoming, and she sets herself to get some more work done with a sigh, only throwing a glance at the dark stain on her concrete balcony.

She makes a mental note to ask Jess to make an appointment to get it cleaned tomorrow.

* * *

Lena wakes up to the sound of someone clearing their throat hesitantly and her eyes flutter open as she groans at the onslaught of light, her pupils contracting as she rapidly closes her eyes again.

She hears the intruder close the shutters and she sighs in relief when she opens her eyes to a relatively dark room.

"Who is it?" she grumbles, still half-asleep and annoyed that she had to be woken up.

"It's me. Supergirl. You fell asleep at your desk I'm assuming."

Lena frowns before rebutting.

"What? I'm not—"

Her arm brushes up against a stack of paper and she turns to look at the dark silhouette.

It's the unmistakable shape of a stack of paper.

She casts her eyes about the room she's in, and as the silhouettes register, she realizes she really is still in her office.

She sighs, shoulders sagging as she rubs her eyes.

"So, what does National City's hero need from a CEO who can't even seem to keep her eyes open?"

The open balcony door casts a stream of light into the room, just enough to partially illuminate Supergirl.

Lena sees the corners of her mouth turn up in a small smile.

"Just wanted to thank you for yesterday."

Lena looks at her, confused, before remembering the events that came to pass yesterday.

"Oh. Of course, Supergirl. You're National City's hero. I can't just not save you."

Apparently she's said the wrong thing because Supergirl's smile thins just the slightest bit—and when did she get so good at reading Supergirl?—before the hero bids her goodbye and flies away.

Lena spends the rest of the morning in a general state of confusion but puts the conversation behind her as she gets ready for the day.

* * *

The next time Supergirl drops by is three days later, and the superhero is _angry._

It's noticeable in the way she thumps against the balcony and the way her arms are crossed firmly across her chest.

She's already ranting when Lena moves to greet her.

"That stupid hologram! 'I am not programmed to give you that information," Astra was _right!_ And my mother doomed us by not listening to her."

Supergirl loses her fire, shoulders sagging forward as she leans against the ledge, her arms coming down to rest on the concrete.

"She could've saved us."

They stand in silence for a moment as Lena processes the information.

"I take it Astra was your aunt and she could've saved Krypton if your mother had listened to her?"

Supergirl looks up at her, wonderment blooming across her features as she looks at Lena.

"How did you figure that out?"

"Well you mentioned your mother and I have heard of Astra and the rest of it you gave away in your speech just now."

Kara chuckles, easing up on the ledge, which Lena now has to get fixed, too, on top of the bloodstains. She doesn't feel like she needs to, though. They give it character. Plus, who else even uses it aside from her and Supergirl?

"I wouldn't call it a speech exactly. There's no need to be polite. I'm sorry for laying all that on you. It's just—"

The hero cuts herself off, looking at Lena for permission to continue. When Lena nods quickly, she keeps talking.

"Astra could've saved us. She knew what we were doing to Krypton, how we kept taking from it and how the planet wasn't stable. My mother didn't listen. Neither did my father. They deemed Astra a criminal when she tried to take it into her own hands through more... unsavory methods, and then Krypton exploded anyway."

Supergirl looks out past the horizon.

"I just wish they had at least given her a chance. Our pride was our downfall... sometimes I'm afraid it'll be mine, too."

Lena frowns as she eyes the superhero.

"I don't that would be the case."

When Supergirl turns to look at her, tilting her head, Lena explains.

"You're not prideful. Sure, you're proud of your family, of your crest, of your culture, but I don't think you'd be like them. You're not nearly prideful enough for that. You're almost _painfully_ hopeful and you're so humble, sometimes I forget you're the superhero who defeated the Daxamites and who beat Superman."

The superhero blushes before ducking her head, hands fidgeting.

"In fact, I would say your downfall would be hoping too much for something or believing in something too much. If it didn't happen, it might destroy you."

The superhero looks momentarily taken aback before she regains her posture, suddenly chuckling to cover her previous expression.

"I've definitely heard that one before."

They stand in comfortable silence until the sun sets below the horizon, Supergirl bidding her goodbye before flying away.

Lena momentarily wonders if Supergirl has a human alias.

And what if she does?

And then she thinks harder, and the thought hits her.

_What if I know her human alias?_

* * *

She spends the next two days pondering over the question as she suspiciously eyes everyone around her for any signs of being Supergirl.

She gets so caught up in it that Kara brings her lunch every single day and she almost always forgets to eat it.

It isn't until the third evening that everything finally comes out into the open.

* * *

She's still pondering the question when she sees a blue dot coming closer and closer.

Supergirl has both her hands behind her back and she smiles nervously when she sees Lena waving at her.

She touches down like she always does, _tap-tap,_ before striding directly into Lena's office.

Lena is momentarily a little bit off-kilter at the change in their normal routine but she follows Supergirl in, watching the increasingly nervous superhero with growing concern.

"Are you okay, Supergirl?"

The hero nods quickly, too quickly to be the truth, and Lena narrows her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Supergirl looks like a child with their hand caught in the cookie jar when she looks up at Lena.

"I... I'm just a little bit nervous. Um... I have something to tell you."

Lena narrows her eyes a little bit more but gestures for her to go on.

"So remember when you said that my downfall would be hoping too much for something only to be let down in the end?"

Lena nods, remembering the conversation.

"Well... you were right. I... I've been hoping for a while about this one thing and I just really don't want it to go wrong."

The superhero swallows nervously, shifting her weight from side to side.

Lena softens a little bit, understanding the nerves now.

"It's okay, Supergirl. I'm sure everything will work out okay."

Supergirl shakes her head quickly before speaking again.

"No, no. I mean... I hope it'll work out okay, but... that's up to you, Lena."

Lena tilts her head in confusion, still processing the words as Supergirl brings her hands out from behind her back.

She almost falls over when she sees what the hero is holding, gasping out loud as she holds onto the desk for support.

Supergirl is smiling, her eyes glistening with tears, the red sky reflected in the blue of her eyes as she holds her two hands out.

In one is a bouquet of plumerias, Kara's favorite flowers. In another is a pair of oh-so-familiar glasses.

Lena holds her hand up to her mouth as she feels her own tears stinging at the corners of her eyes.

She looks back up at the hero, eyes searching for the confirmation, looking for the similarities.

The ever-present crinkle is there as the hero smiles, her tears welling over when she squints as she does.

_"These flowers remind me of my mother."_

Bonus Scene:

"Oh, I never told you about my crest, did I?"

Lena takes a moment to think about it as she cuddles up to Kara on their couch.

"Mm, I think you might've. Remind me again?"

Kara smiles down at her, noting the mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Well, the crest is our family crest, and it isn't an S, it means _ehl maiiahrah,_ or stars band together. And the reason why it's not stronger together is because we always knew that even dead stars would shine. We knew that if we just looked up into the night sky, we would know we weren't alone, we would find a way back home. I only said Stronger Together because no one else would understand."

Lena stares, agape, as Kara continues explaining.

"It really means that one star is enough to light the day, but only many stars together can light the darkest of nights. To get through the worst of times, we have to work together, we have to band together. That's what it means."

Kara looks back at Lena, her eyes shining just a little bit as she smiles down at her.

"That's why when I say _ehl maiiahrah,_ I really mean that we'll be together forever. A star never goes out, even when it dies. I'll never leave you."

Lena presses her lips together to keep herself from sobbing out and she surges up, pressing her lips against Kara's and sinking into Kara's embrace as the hero's hands move around her to pull her in closer.

"Ehl maiiahrah."

"Together forever."

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked this! honestly this entire thing was so self-indulgent but i actually got something done within a week!
> 
> also i'm on tumblr @catargott


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